October 21, 2022 26w2d Last year, someone asked if I had “closure” with it being the 1-year anniversary of Raya’s birth & death. I did not. And for the record, being pregnant on the 2nd …

Tuesday, October 11, 2022 24w6d I did not sleep a second last night. The anxiety I was waiting for that I was just about to praise for not coming, finally arrived. Coming home from work, …

I’ve been trying to determine how to best describe infertility after late-term pregnancy loss, and it finally came to me. Imagine your favorite painting falls and shatters and covers you in broken glass. So you …

When you’re 14 and lose so much weight you no longer get a cycle, the doctor doesn’t talk about future fertility. They cover the problem in a birth control-sized band aid and hand you a …

Grief is rough. But grief as fear, is excruciating. I never used to be a worried person. Things happened when they happened because they happened, and that’s all there was to it. I had no …

Everything I’ve written about Raya has flown out of me. I could never grab my computer quick enough to get all the words down in the right order. This morning I grabbed my computer, opened …

I thought a lot about my first Mother’s Day with you. I would probably tell your dad not to get me anything and then complain when he didn’t stop at Starbucks on his way home …

I’ve never felt more “in recovery” than I did when I was pregnant. The moment the second line appeared on the stick, everything changed. Nothing was about me anymore; fueling the growing child inside me …

You can read Raya’s journey here. “Do you think about her a lot?” My child? Yes, yes I do. For part one of things that suck after pregnancy loss & unfortunate sentences people say, please …

DISCLAIMER: Gregg and I are incredibly grateful for the support we have received after losing Raya. This post is not intended to hurt anyone’s feelings (though it shouldn’t, since none of these occurred from anyone …